We read about failures all the time. With the right person who does not give up, failure leads to an awesome change. It leads to renewed energy, increased passion, and better methods to do what needs to be done.
I think that being saved is a lot like that, but supernatural. When we completely die (fail) and completely recognize that our way is not the right way, we can then be healed by God’s grace. Only then sometimes can we see that it is only God who knows how we should live. It is only Him who is good, and it is only Him who can save us from our ultimate judgment.
In complete death to self, we can become new. This refreshing gift of God is a new self. What is better than that?
Marriages can take the same course too. Complete death to each person’s selfish ambition is where the marriage prospers. Sometimes it is a complete death of the relationship before we find out how to live unselfishly with our spouse. In the latter case, we have to be totally committed to not give up even if the marriage feels like failure. Who knows, the supernatural and radical change may be just around the corner, just after you think it couldn’t get any worse.
To that end, remain committed. Stay strong: seek God’s will. He will save you and your relationship in its time of trouble even if you don’t see supernatural change on the horizon.
It may take five years, it may take twenty. It may take an ultimate fight that had loomed for a long time. It may take counseling. It may even take divorce.
I in no way encourage divorce, but I do know a man who was legally divorced from his wife three times before having a prosperous marriage (with the same woman). Now, he counsels me 🙂 God works in awesome ways, and His ultimate goal to see you be the best You is sometimes by seeing you be so committed to the cause.
Commit yourself, therefore, to becoming more like Christ. Commit yourself even to death for something that you deem imperfect (as Christ did for us… although he never deemed us not worth it). Radical change comes after death.